The Girl and Her Teddy Bears - Review

This bear has been staring at me for weeks. It has haunted my thoughts.
And so, finally, I bring myself to play this game that looks too cute.

Honestly, The Girl and Her Teddy Bears by The Shy Guys is hard for me to write about now, days after the fact. I'll be up front, and say that this wasn't my kind of game. I didn't quite understand what the developers were going for. So instead, here are some thoughts I scribbled down while playing. But first, the scores.

CONCEPT: 2/5 - "After You" - following directions from a stupid stuffed toy.
CONTROLS: 3/5 - Why is the mouse present for the first 2 levels? Confusing. What is
                               the mouse for? WHY! Frustrated that you're not told how to play.
                               INFINITE JUMPING!
STORY: 3/5 - (There's only one bear.)
GRAPHICS: 5/5 - Beautifully done, nice details and colour scheme. Looks great, even if
                              it weren't done in 48 hours. Excellent polish.
SOUND: 3/5 - End theme is sad and bugs me (for some reason). Reminiscent of
                        Teardrop by Massive Attack.
QUIRKINESS: 3/5 - Infinite jumps, no consequences, no losing... all very strange.
ENJOYABILITY: 1/5 - No! What? No!

FINAL SCORE: 20 GOATS

Now... I realize this entire game was completed in 48 hours. So most of my comments are going to come off very harsh (or they already have). I apologize in advance. What follows are my stream-of-consciousness notes I jotted down while playing.

1st Playthrough: 303 timer
WHAT? What is the timer for? You can't do any wrong. It's just so preschool... IF that's what you're going for - a simple cute game for toddlers and 4 year-olds - you've achieved it... But it doesn't seem to have RULES. OR CONSEQUENCES!

2nd Playthrough: 138 timer
I did it faster but I still don't understand it...

To wrap things up, I'm going to say that sometimes, what the developer wants to achieve doesn't get achieved in 48 hours. Perhaps time ran out, code was left undone. Perhaps they only had a half-baked idea. I'm really not sure. Either way, in my opinion, The Girl and Her Teddy Bears fails to be a game, on the solitary fact that there are no apparent consequences, nor "win" conditions - at least they aren't explained to you within the "game" itself. This certainly wasn't for me, but perhaps, someone will like it. It is extremely cute, after all.

Hellbound - Review

My very first TOJam ("Sixy Times" in 2011), I remember Jim McGinley coming over to check out my game "You Win!" that I had helped my friend Michael Patoine make (since he does all the programming). I remember a huge sense of accomplishment when he told us afterwards that we had a really great idea (the entire game is backwards). Now, this next bit may just be my mind making up lovely embellishments, but I seem to recall Jim going on emphatically after that about "these are the kinds of games" he wanted to see.

Hellbound by EndGame is one of these games.

As I entered the GBC room in which Hellbound was being showcased last year, I saw Jim standing with three other people, a huge, goofy grin on his face, as he raced to the death to avoid entering into Hell. "I love what you did with this!" he said*. "It's very fun!" he probably continued. "Come over here," he said, spotting me, "you have to try this!" When his race was finished, he passed me the controller. He was so into it, he continued to talk to one of the devs, while another was trying to explain the controls to my friend and I. Obviously, my attention was split - how could it not be, seeing Jim so excited? Unfortunately for the both of us, I don't recall the rest of Jim's conversation before he had to move on... as soon I was about to race to the death myself.

I think the biggest draw for the game is it's concept and incorporation of the theme "After You". Instead of something chasing you, EndGame went with the more polite approach of "After You." (I very much imagine someone else immediately responding with "No, after you," while peering passive-aggressively and gesturing with an open hand.)

Hellbound is a race you don't want to win. Literally. Four characters ride motorcycles towards the entrance to Hell, and the object of the game is to come in last place - because if you're first you know where you're going. As you head down the highway to Hell you're actually trying your best to run into obstacles to slow your speed demon of a vehicle down, while shooting rockets at your rivals to make them go faster and get there first.

CONCEPT: 4/5 - Fantastic spin on a racing game!
CONTROLS: 5/5 - They're simple and they work well - even though the game is FAST, and therefore difficult.
STORY: 1.5/5 - I imagined a very simple story when I played.
GRAPHICS: 4/5 - Clean line art, fun colours, and facial expressions so hilarious that they kill me!
SOUND: 3/5**
QUIRKINESS: 3/5
ENJOYABILITY: 5/5 - This game is FUN. Excellent for parties. I'd play it over and over.

FINAL SCORE: 25.5 GOATS!

Hellbound is a hilariously fun and competitive game to play with your friends. I highly recommend checking it out***. Especially if you have a large HD monitor, four X-Box 360 controllers, and three friends with good senses of humour.

I now leave you with this quote that encapsulates the spirit of the game:

"So the last shall be first, and the first last..." Matthew 20:16



*I don't actually have any quotes written down. I may be romanticizing this moment in my memory as well. Jim was most certainly praising this game, however.

**Sadly I did not record a score for the sound at TOJam last year, and the game will not open on my computer - seeing an error message instead. I do remember it had music, and sound effects. I feel like they fit the game. But I don't remember them. You know? Therefore, an average score to be as fair as I can be.

***And hopefully it will work on your computer.

TOJam Tentacular!

Registration for TOJam Tentacular is NOW OPEN!

http://www.tojam.ca/register/default.asp

I'm very excited - my registration has gone through, I've declared myself team Captain, and the title of the event this year makes me think of tentacles - and therefore H. P. Lovecraft's C'thulhu mythos.

I couldn't be happier - unless I knew for sure that both my partner and myself had confirmation of our spot at the event.

I'll have to keep writing reviews every Friday to stop from worrying.

Better go register for yourself now while the stars are right...

F'thagn!

Albacross - Retro TOJam Review

Albacross: Rosemary Mosco (www.birdandmoon.com)

Albacross is a top down flying game about an albatross trying to survive in a world negatively affected by humans. Accompanied with ethereal music by Modul, you maneuver the bird through a polluted body of water. The objective of the game is to fight through the obstacles, and make it to shore in time to meet your awaiting partner. A solid game that has infinite potential if it were continued. Just in advance, I may be a bit biased because albatrosses are one of my favourite birds.

Hazards include icebergs, garbage, and fishing nets. Health in the game is recovered by flying into a group of fish.

Controls: Controlling the albatross in Albacross is fairly straightforward. The arrow keys move the bird in the respective directions. An issue I’ve noticed right off the bat (albatross?) is that there’s no ability to fly diagonally across the screen. Something very necessary when it comes to dodging objects on-screen. Once the concept of up-down-left-right only gameplay comes across, maneuverability becomes fairly simple. In addition to this, the albatross can fly off-screen endlessly. It’d be nice to have a fixed range of flight on screen so that you don’t crash into objects that aren’t visible. After getting the hang of it, I was able to finish the game without touching any of the hazards. (3/5)

Story: Albacross’s narrative is simple, and the player leaves with a positive message regarding the environment. The tale revolves around a hungry albatross who needs to stray from their partner in order to feed. If the albatross dies in the game, you’re shown a screen of a your silent partner waiting to see you. Besides that, Albacross’ story is pretty light, which is perfectly fine for a vertical flyer. (3/5)

Presentation: This is where Rosemary shows her talents; Albacross’ art, sound, and functionality is rock solid. The sounds of crashing waves, albatross cries, along with the ethereal sounds of Modul (Mark Javor) is satisfying. I found myself leaving the game in the background for quite a bit, just because the nature sounds were that relaxing. Whales, squid, and trapped fish scroll past the screen in a pleasant way (not really the trapped fish, that’s kind of messed up). A definite highlight is the shading. Pixel dots were used as a shadow effect for most objects. To top it off, the 16 bit albatross intro is downright adorable. A gripe that I had after a few play-throughs was that having a static ocean was definitely noticeable. For the sake of immersion though, a few frames of water moving would be the icing on the cake.

Creativity: Off the top of my head, I can’t really name that many games that involve an albatross protagonist scooping up fish while dodging icebergs, and garbage. At the same time, however, the vertical-scrolling-collect-things-and-don’t-get-hit genre is fairly saturated. (3/5)

Overall: In regards to replay value, the game is about a minute or two long with the same layout of obstacles. An endless mode, power-ups and a randomizer would be additions that would easily bring tons of replay value to this game. Albacross is the sort of game that would do amazing if it were fleshed out, and ported to mobile. For now though, Albacross gets 3 Goats out of 5.

Controls: 3/5

Story: 3/5

Presentation (sound, art): 4/5

Creativity (has it been done?): 3/5

Overall Enjoyability: 3/5

Friendshape - Review

Meet Rectingle and Pi. One's a happy blue square. The other's an angry pink circle.

This may sound like the makings of a new family friendly sitcom, but it isn't. Instead, Friendshape is a puzzle-platformer by WuTangTan that is surprisingly challenging while remaining for the most part, simple. The gameplay reminds me of Chariot, only without any way to anchor your little shapes, which makes timing even more key. This is also where I tend to fail at platformers - timing my jumps has always been something that makes me anxious. Lucky for me, I excel at puzzles, which is balanced perfectly in this little gem.

While the difficulty progression doesn't feel quite even to me, there remains a good variety of difficulty among the levels. Overcoming the harder levels, even inelegantly, simply feels satisfying. As does beating one of the easier levels perfectly. It can be frustrating at times, yet it never feels like the game is kicking you while you're down.

CONCEPT: 2/5 - It feels connected to the theme. As are the shapes.
CONTROLS: 4/5 - Hard by yourself. Not the most intuitive (for solo play).
STORY: 1/5 - What story? The shapes have names. I'll give you a point for that.
GRAPHICS: 4/5 - Cute retro pixels that get the job done.
SOUND: 4/5 - The retro early midi music is pleasing to the ear, fits with the design, and is also satisfying. Didn't notice many SFX.
QUIRKINESS: 2/5 - This might've been a bit higher had I not seen Chariot first.
ENJOYABILITY: 4/5 - Probably more fun with a friend!

FINAL SCORE: 21 GOATS

Playing Friendshape, you really get the sense that the designer loves puzzles. If you also love puzzles, what can be more satisfying than that?

I HEART IKEA - Review

Hey there, fellow players!

It's GOOD FRIDAY. This springtime holiday may have religious connotations for some, but for many, this holiday means a day off for redecorating your home. What better way to spend your time this Easter than buying and assembling furniture? As Jonathan Coulton would say, "if you don't have a home you can buy one there!"

That's right, this week's game is I <3 IKEA by Axon Interactive and Friends. I know what you're thinking - a puzzle game where you have to assemble IKEA furniture with nothing but an allen key and your wits - but you're WRONG! Instead, this game is a side-scrolling runner in which you have to purchase your new furniture and eat Swedish meatballs without getting distracted by other fantastic items in the store. If you wind up purchasing extraneous bookshelves you'll end up over-budget and go broke.

Currently, the game features two different modes of play. In Coworker mode, you have a 10% discount. The level seems much shorter, so presumably you're trying to get all your shopping done on your break. In Student Mode, the level is longer, but you can't purchase any items over $100. Did I really notice that difference? No! But that didn't stop me from playing it anyway. As I played, it felt like "Student" mode was supposed to be hard mode, because of the restriction.

CONCEPT: 1/5 - I can't conceive of the link between the theme "After You!" and this game.

CONTROLS: 5/5 - They work easily enough, with multiple options.

STORY: 2/5 - Not much of a story here, so not much of a score.

GRAPHICS: 3/5 - A solid 3 because while the graphics look good, they're cut from IKEA's own online catalogue. (Way to get your art done quickly, Axon! Now that's jamming!)

SOUND: 3/5 - Good stock sounds provide a solid shopping experience, complete with the repetitive and catchy in-store musak.

QUIRKINESS: 5/5 - Where this game shines! I was attracted to this game at TOJam 9 last year by the sheer bizarreness of it's subject matter. Hoorah for the randomness of it!

ENJOYABILITY: 2.5/5 - This score would be higher if I didn't feel it were IMPOSSIBLE to beat! I suck at this game! I'm terrible at it! It's SO HARD.

FINAL SCORE: 21.5 GOATS

While this game scores high for it's uniqueness and creativity, it suffers for its sheer difficulty. It would help if I had IKEA's online catalogue memorized, but since I don't, and my reaction times are poor, I failed this game miserably. Other gamers, who are a pro at platformers and hand-eye-coordination, might fair better and get more enjoyment out of this quirky little gem. It would be improved by having small thumbnails of the items you need to collect on your shopping list, and a perhaps a slower speed as well. Even so, this game managed to draw my attention amidst a room full of games during the open house last year, and I recall having fond feelings for it then. After all, I <3 IKEA.

Thank you, Axon Interactive and Friends.

Regina Z Bearington's Sticky Situation - Review

On this day, April 2nd, the first day of Spring, I successfully sucked up sweet maple syrup through a swirly straw before sailing off the edge of a serious waterfall, the tsunami of syrup soaring off the edge after me.

It was glorious. And best of all, this time it only took me four attempts to beat it.

Regina Z Bearington's Sticky Situation by Team Electrified Fooling Machine is just that sort of game. It ties into TOJam 9's theme of "After You" quite literally, but in a unique way. Not only do you have to escape the titan tsunami of syrup, but you have to balance that with slurping as much of it as possible, without being swept up in the stickiness and suffocating. So instead of your usual button-mashing runner, you have to use your head in order to keep the queen of bears afloat.

When I first encountered this game at TOJam last year, I was hard-pressed to get to the end of the level, the syrup overtaking me literally at every turn. But I was determined, so I pressed on, with countless failures until finally I had the satisfaction of success. My note from last year states "sufficiently difficult but attainable". I feel that sums up the game fairly well. That little note was what kept me going earlier today, when poor Regina drowned the first three times.


CONCEPT: 5/5
CONTROLS: 4/5 - I wish there were another button with some kind of speed power up or something... Also a point is lost because 1 button isn't really "controls" but rather "control".
STORY: 3/5 - It would have been a 2, however the "facts" from a bear-centric "wiki" that appear upon game overs are creative and fun, and add to the flavour of this game.
ART: 5/5 - Last year, I said "4 or 5", and I'm feeling generous today because it's FINALLY WARM outside! Plus, it's super cute!
SOUND: 5/5 - Regina's frustrated sounds and burps are extremely cute, and warrant giggling. The theme music is almost like someone humming with a mouth full, too. Thematic!
QUIRKINESS: 2/5 - It's not the quirkiest of games.
ENJOYABILITY: 3.5/5 - It's the type of game that will frustrate you into playing until you beat it, if you're competitive like me. After you've done so, with only one level, you don't have much reason to keep playing except to surpass your highscore. It's fun, but not something to play for hours on end.

FINAL SCORE: 25.5 GOATS!

While navigating the winding river can be treacherous, it's also delicious. I had Regina drink 164L of syrup. See if you can beat me, and feel free to let the developers know what you think!

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